Dear Olivia
by Sabaku no Keiko
Summary: This one I wrote with the brilliant amber3234 xD While Olivias on vacation, Elliot loses his temper during a case. When she comes back theres no Elliot. She fails by reaching him and decides to send him a email. Will she be able to find her partner?
1. Chapter 1: Away

**Chapter 1: Away**

Olivia Benson walked out the elevator and strode toward the door to her desk. It was 7.38 a.m. and it was the first day after her one-week-vacation. She went over to her locker, put some things in it and turned around. As she looked to the door again, her co-workers Odafin Tutuola and John Munch walked in. They both grinned and waved.

"Hey Liv. Got a nice vacation?" She nodded. As they came by, she asked curious: "Where's Elliot? Shouldn't he be already here?" Munch and Fin changed a look, then looked at Olivia and gave a shrug.

She sighed and walked to her desk. Olivia sat down in her chair and watched the stress of the officers who were running through the doors and upstairs. _Well, well. Good to be back. That's what I missed the most._, she thought. _The morning stress. Wohooo. _S

he turned in her chair and looked to the office door of her Captain, Don Craigen. There were shadows behind it. Seemed like he would have a little morning meeting. As always. Olivia smiled and turned on the computer. While it loaded, she turned to face the desk of her partner.

It was empty. His things were away. She frowned. What had happened? Something bad? Something that she mustn't hear of? Olivia thought of the last time she saw Elliot.

_Olivia sat at her desk, when a coffee mug appeared on it. She didn't have to look up to know who placed it there. "Thanks, El. That's what I've needed." She heard him chuckle. Then she turned after all and faced the big man in front of her. He grinned as he took a sip of his coffee. His blue eyes glowed__. "Nah, I don't think so, Liv. I think you could need a nap. How do you think about giving me the paper work and sleep a bit in the rest room?" Elliot raised his eyebrows. Olivia smiled and stood up. She handed him a big pack of papers and chuckled. "Here you are. And don't miss something." She said and walked to the rest room. Before she walked into it, Olivia turned to her partner. He made a face and sat behind his desk. He took a pen and began to work._

No, that wasn't the point he could go away and leave her alone. Maybe he fought with his wife again. That was often the reason he came too late to work. But in the back of her head Olivia knew it didn't work out.

If so, his things would be there after all. There would be the frog on the monitor, the mass of pens and pencils in a mug… Even the picture of his kids. Nothing. The whole desk was empty. Then her computer made a beep. She woke up out of her daydream and realized that Craigen's meeting was finished.

Olivia went to the office door and walked in. Her captain looked up and put the newspaper away. "What's up?" She sighed and sat down in the chair opposite of him. "Where's my partner?" Olivia asked and glanced at her boss. He looked at the ground first.

Then Craigen looked her in the eyes and said: "I can't tell you. I promised him that I won't tell you." She opened her mouth in surprise. "WHAT?" But he didn't answer. Olivia stood up angry and walked out the door. She couldn't believe that her own captain didn't want to talk to her.

When she reached her desk again, she sat down and decided to ask her partner herself. Maybe he would come later that day. Maybe tomorrow. But she had to know what happened. By hook or by crook.

But Elliot Stabler didn't arrive at the precinct. Not an hour later, not two. Olivia began to wonder. Why was he staying away? Was he mad with her or someone else? What had happened? When she couldn't hold it anymore, she stood up, took her coat and walked out the precinct. On the streets, she went to her car.

While she drove, Olivia tried to reach Elliot's cell phone. No answer. After five tries she gave up. She sighed once again. That couldn't be. Elliot wasn't away. He had told her first. He was her best friend. He was her partner. He SHOULD have told her. But Elliot hadn't. Olivia was a little bit worried now. Something bad happened to him. That was for sure. He wouldn't have left without telling her… wouldn't he?

She was not that sure about it. She couldn't even tell where he was, so she drove to his apartment. He wasn't living with his family anymore because Kathy, his wife, kicked him out. While she waited for the elevator, she mentioned the places where he could go: to his former house, to his apartment, to the bar, to the precinct when she was away, in the park… T

here were too much places to search them all. Suddenly Olivia came a thought: What if he was kidnapped by some dude he was hated of? She shook her head. That couldn't be. Elliot was always careful. He wouldn't have left his gun at home. Maybe. Now Olivia was in front of his apartment, staring at the closed door. She knocked twice, and then waited a bit.

Then knocked again. No one at home. She knocked again and called: "Elliot! It's Olivia. Just open the door, please!" But no answer came. She decided to use the spare key. Elliot hid it over the door. As always. When she entered the apartment, Olivia noticed the little smell of dirty dish.

She walked through the whole apartment, but there was no Elliot. Nowhere. Away. Olivia sighed loud and turned. She closed the door. Walked out the house. Stood near her car and was worried about her best friend and partner Elliot.

Where could he be? What happened to him?

Those questions followed her in her mind, even in her dreams. She dreamed of kidnapped Elliot's, dead Elliot's… every sort of things that could happen to him. When she woke up the other morning she decided to e-mail him. Olivia hoped he would answer her. He must.

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**A/N **oh man... its 18.11 p.m. here in germany now and I'm bored... o. my. gosh. I'm going to go crazy. so... if you're confused about that, I decided to write another story. But this time with the fabulous amber3234. And it's NOT about CSI:NY. wow... I can't believe it. my cousins make me crazy. can someone stop them? xD


	2. Chapter 2: Disappointed

**A/N: hey hey xD as I said in the summary, theres the 2nd chap written by amber3234. Hope you guyz like our working-together thing**

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**Chapter 2: Disappointed**

_El,_

_Just wondering where you are. __I come back from my vacation and you're no where to be found. _

_I don't know what's going on, but you won't answer any of my phone calls and no one is telling me what happened. _

_I just need to know if you're okay. Call me when you get this. Please._

_Liv._

Olivia thought back to the email that she sent to Elliot and just hoped that he would reply. She needed to know that he was okay. She needed her partner back. She needed her best friend back.

Olivia walked into her apartment later in the night and once again tried calling Elliot's home phone and cell phone. No answer.

She sighed and laid in bed wondering what was going on with her partner. She needed to find out what happened and where he is.

No one was telling her anything. Why wouldn't he want her to know where he is? Is he that sick of her? Does he not want to be around her anymore?

All these thoughts were running through Olivia's mind and they were making her go crazy.

The thing that she didn't understand the most, why would he tell Cragen not to tell her what happened and where he was?

They are best friends and told each other everything.

Apparantly not anymore.

Meanwhile, Elliot was staying in some ratty hotel in New York.

He hasn't seen Olivia in a couple of days and he had missed her. He asked Cragen not to tell Olivia what happened because she would've been dissapointed with his actions.

He lost control because she wasn't there. She was the only one that could calm him down when he was in one of his violent rages. She knew how to handle him. Nobody else did.

_Elliot walked into the interrogation room and quickly barricaded the door with a wooden chair. He was livid. They've been searching for this perp for weeks and now that they finally found him, he was not about to let him go that easily._

_Cragen was banging on the door, yelling for Elliot to open it. Cragen knew that Elliot was about to lose it._

_Elliot grabbed the perp by his collar and backed him into the wall. "You sick little prick! You wanna rape those little kids and think you're going to get away with it!"_

_"Let go of me!" the perp shouted, unable to breath as Elliot put more pressure on his neck._

_"How does it feel to beg me to stop and knowing that I won't? Huh? How does it feel you bastard?" Elliot taunted._

_"Please! Stop! I can't breathe!"_

_Elliot picked him up by the neck and threw him through the class window. He was in a rage and the only person that could've stopped him was not there. Olivia._

_Cragen and Fin busted the door open and grabbed Elliot while Munch checked on the perp._

_"I want to press charges!" the perp shouted._

_Elliot was about to charge at him again but Cragen and Fin took him to Cragen's office so he won't lose it over again._


	3. Chapter 3: Beautiful

**A/N: I didn't thought I would upload that so fast but I was in writing mood so...

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Chapter 3: Beautiful

_Dear Olivia._

_Thank you for caring about me so much. I appreciate that you want to talk to me, but I can't do it right now. I promise I'll call you as soon as I can. Sorry for not informing you, but I thought it would be better not to bother you with my problems. _

_That's why I told Cragen not to tell you anything. And I was afraid you would be disappointed with me. I should have told you, Liv. I should have... but I couldn't. _

_When I got suspended, I thought I... I don't even know what I thought, Liv. But now you're really disappointed in me, aren't you? Because I didn't tell you... and I under-_  
_stand if you're mad. We were... actually, we ARE best friends. So... if you wanna know, I'll tell you what happened._

_We were called to a case just after you left. Rape and murder, as always. Soon we had a plenty of witnesses,_ _but no one seemed to match. Then, we had found our suspect, but he wasn't at home. So I went to Kathy and...well... we fought again. I should have known that. _

_When I got back to work I was so angry. Later Munch brought the man in we didn't find earlier, the first suspect. I was so angry that I lost control of myself and attacked him. Fin and Cragen had to drag me out, so that I wouldn't explode again. But I wouldn't have the chance to do that._

_Cragen was so disappointed in me, that he suspended me and said: "You have to go home. And don't come back."_

_I'm feeling alone, Liv. _

_But that's what I have to deal with. I shouldn't have exploded like that. I shouldn't have done that. And I don't want to put your job in danger, Olivia. I beg you, please understand. Maybe we meet somewhere somehow. Maybe I should sleep over it, but I can't. I can't do anything right now. Don't be mad at me, but..._

_Please don't come after me, Liv. For now at least._  
_Love,_  
_Elliot._

As he sent the e-mail away, Elliot turned away from his laptop and headed toward the window in the little hotel room. 

He looked out and watched lovers holding hands and laughing. What should he do now? Take a walk? With whom? Dance? With whom? Sing? With whom? 

Suddenly he realized that he was nothing. Nothing without his job, nothing without his partner. Olivia. He thought about her name. It meant olive tree. Then he thought about her eyes, her hair, her body, every single thought was about her. How would she think about his little... dropout?

Would she understand it? That Elliot was in bad shape and couldn't talk to her? But now he realized that he needed her. He needed her badly. 

Elliot sighed and sat on the bed which stood on the wall beside him. His thoughts were now caught in a beautiful memory.

-  
_Elliot laughed about a joke Munch had made. They chilled in their desk chairs on a summer evening. Elliot thought about his wife and children. Kathy was stressed and his daughters Maureen and Kathleen, too. But they were too young to know why. But Elliot knew why. 4 years ago she had brought the twins to life. Richard, called Dickie, and Elizabeth,_ _called Lizzie. _

_Both of them were beautiful. And loud. They cried each night he went home late. But today Kathy was with her parents so Elliot could work the whole day and night as he wanted to. He liked it that way. It made him feel free. But he missed his wife very much. Elliot's thoughts drifted away when Munch waved with his hands in front of El's face. _

_"Hey dreamer!" he called._

_Suddenly Captain Cragen walked into the SVU squad room with someone behind._

_"Hey you! This is our new Detective Olivia Benson. She's working with us now."_

_When the woman stepped out behind Cragen's back, Elliot's jaw dropped and the case file he held fell to the ground._ _Everyone saw it and smiled. Then they turned toward the woman who was also staring at Elliot._

At this moment Elliot stopped the memory. He couldn't think anymore. It was so... wonderful that he fell in love with his partner even if he was married at that time. But... did he just have a thought that he was IN LOVE with Olivia Benson? Was that right or was he loving Olivia like his best friend? And what would she say if Elliot would tell her about his feelings?  
He dumped down on the bed. Then grabbed the radio from the nightstand and turned it on. He listened and while he fell into a deep and restless sleep, he heard Patrick Nuo's "Beautiful".

_Like a thunderstorm on a summer day _  
_she came out of nowhere and I can say _

_She's a supernove shining through the night like a never sleeping satellite _  
_She's a damn good reason for the sun to rise _

_When you see her smile in the morning light _  
_When she cries she cries a wishing well _  
_Plays hide and seek with the hounds of hell_

_She throws you down to take you high _  
_into her private sky._

_She's so beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful _  
_Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful _  
_Magical, mystical, irrestitible, cosmical _

_A wonderful overkill and most of all beautiful._


	4. Chapter 4: No Promises

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**A/N: hey hey xD did you miss us? I know. here's the... 4rth chapter written by amber3234.**_

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**Chapter 4: No promises**

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El,

_I'm sorry about what happened. I would never be dissapointed in you. You just lost it and I can understand why. I'm sorry that I wasn't there to comfort you. You're my best friend and I really need you to come back. I can't do this job without you, Elliot. Please come back, you're all I have left._

_Love Liv._

Olivia clicked send and closed her laptop. It's been a week since Elliot left and she really needed him to come back. He was everything to her and she couldn't live without him. She wasn't even sure if he was coming back, but she had to be hopeful.

She walked to her bedroom and laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. She hasn't been sleeping ever since Elliot just up and left.

Pulling out her cell phone, she hit #1 on her speed dial: Elliot.

It rang and rang, but there was no answer.

She snapped the phone shut, angry that he wasn't answering her phone calls. They are best friends; he should be answering whenever she calls. Especially now that he's gone.

Didn't he miss her? Probably not as much as she misses him.

Meanwhile, Elliot sat in the same ratty hotel room, reading the email Olivia had just sent.

Oh, god how much he misses her. He would give anything to see her right now.

Maybe, he should go back. For her. Not for work or his family, but for her. Only her.

He saw her name light up on his cell phone screen, but he was too scared to answer. Even though she says she's not disappointed in what he did, he feels that she is. She thought that he had his temper under control, apparently not.

All he has done since he has left SVU was think about Olivia. He decided to write her back.

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_Liv,_

_I really miss you. I wish I was there with you, but I just need some time to think and be away from SVU. I just wish that didn't mean being away from you. Don't worry about me; I'll be back before you know it. I'll TRY to survive without you, but I'm not making any promises._

_Take care, El._

He kept it short and simple.

Olivia woke up the next morning and quickly checked her email, hoping Elliot had wrote back. Luckily for her, he did. She read the email and couldn't help but smile.

"I'll TRY to survive without you, but I'm not making any promises."

That was the truth about their relationship. They could barely survive without each other. They were each other's halves and everyone knew that, even Kathy.

Olivia smiled and decided to email him back later when she could actually think straight.

She got to work and they already had a case to work on. Olivia and Fin have been working together since Elliot had left. Fin knew not to ask any questions about Elliot because he knew how Elliot's and Olivia's relationship is. They love each other.

Once they finished work for the day, Olivia quickly went home. She couldn't wait to email Elliot back.

She changed into shorts and a tank top then sat at her desk and opened her laptop.

Suddenly, Olivia's phone started ringing.

"Benson," she answered.

"Hey, Liv. It's me." Elliot.

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**A/N: tadaaaaa xD still hope you like it *g* so feel free to review**


	5. Chapter 5: Love and Silence

**A/N: tadaaaa xD here's my 5th chapter xD I looovee writing something like that. hope ya guyz still like it

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Chapter 5: Love and Silence

Elliot thought back to the phone call he had made later that day. Now he was sure that Olivia would help him. Always. Forever. But could he risk their friendship?

"_Benson." Olivia answered._

"_Hey, Liv. It's me."_

"_Elliot? Are you okay?" She sounded worried._

"_Yeah, I just needed to hear your voice again. It's too long since the last time."_

"_Don't lie to me, Elliot Stabler. I know you aren't okay."_

"_Then why are you asking? But okay, you won. I can't even stand when I think about what I've done, Liv. I couldn't look you in the eyes either." Elliot sighed._

"_El? Don't be mad at yourself. You don't have to. You just lost it. And that is okay. Even I got dropouts sometimes."_

"_But you don't almost kill the perps."_

"_Good point, but I think you know what I mean, don't you? You just have to talk to someone about what happened, okay? And then he or she can help you through it."_

"_And who the hell would that be then? Huang? Munch? Fin? No, I can't think of someone who could be that well in listening to such a crazy cop who loses his temper all three weeks."_

_Elliot smiled a bit. He knew what she was trying to talk about, but he liked to tantalize her a bit. Now he realized how much he had missed her._

"_Maybe I'd be that. You thought of that point? Come on, Elliot. I know you're kidding. Shall I come to your apartment so we can talk about it?"_

"_NO! I mean, don't, okay? I… am not in my apartment. And I… I don't wanna talk about it now, okay? Please understand."_

"_Oh… okay. Then… can you tell me, where you are?"_

_Elliot sighed and told her the name of the ratty hotel. It was clear that she couldn't understand how he was going to live in it._

"_Well, then… call me if you need something. I'll be there for you, every time you need me, El." _

"_Thank you, Liv. I know you will. I… love you."_

_Elliot put down the phone and leaned back in the chair of the hotel room he was staying in. He was sure; Olivia was helping him through his… problems. Whenever he needed it. That made him feel calm and safe. It was good to have someone who was caring and loving. Elliot sighed and closed his eyes. Now he felt the little touch of Liv's fingers on his hands, even if she wasn't there._

_Now he realized that he loved her. Loved her more than he loved anyone else. He loved her eyes, dark brown and shining. Her hair, brown and wonderful. Her lips, rosy and graceful. Then another picture appeared in his mind: Kathy. Even if they fought the whole time they were spending together, they still loved each other._

_But not as deep as Elliot's and Olivia's love was. Kathy was such a good and loving person, but she cared more about the five children she had with Elliot._

_The kids understood all, that their parents wouldn't be together much longer. Elliot already had signed the divorce papers and was waiting for Kathy to do the same and send it back to him._

Elliot ran his fingers through his short, brown hair and stared at the ceiling. Soon he would get the reply with the signed papers from Kathy and send it to the lawyer. He hoped it wouldn't go much longer. He hoped it badly…

Meanwhile, Olivia sat at her desk and stared at the ceiling of the squad room. Her partner, Fin, looked at her, but said nothing.

Liv thought about Elliot and what he'd said to her. He said:

"_I… love you."_

And suddenly she knew it was true. He has always been there for her. In hard and in good times. He'd saved her life more than one time and risked his own for her.

It was more than love: He was her soul mate, her other half, her partner for the rest of their life.

Olivia sighed and turned to Fin. They locked eyes on each other.

"What?" he said.

"Do you think Elliot will come back again?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure about it. Maybe just for your sake, but he will."

"You are SURE about it? How can you know?"

"Everyone in the team knows you two guys are in love, Liv."

"Oh Lord… Is it really that obvious?"

Fin nodded and gazed through the open door of the office of their captain, even if there was nothing. Olivia sighed hard and went back to work.

Then there was a cough. Kathleen Stabler, Elliot's older daughter stood opposite the female detective and looked on the ground.

"Liv?" she asked.

"Yeah, Kat? What's up?"

"Uh… where's my dad, Liv? Isn't he here?"

"I… he is in a hotel, I think. Apparently not in his apartment, am I right?"

Liv decided to hold the information about the hotel name back. She didn't know if Elliot wanted to talk to one of his kids right now.

"You should call him and find out, Kathleen. I'm sure he's looking forward to hear something from you again."

"You don't know where he is?" the tall blonde asked. She looked just like Kathy to Olivia. Liv shook her head.

"No, but I know, he's alive and more or less happy."

Kathleen nodded thoughtful. Then she just turned around and walked to the elevators, without saying goodbye or thank you. When she was away, Olivia raised an eyebrow and began to work again. But soon her thoughts drifted to Elliot again.

Late in the night, Olivia woke up from a dream about work. She turned the radio on and listened to some slow music to calm her down, when something knocked at her window. Liv frowned and headed through the darkness to the glass and looked out.

She thought she saw someone hiding between the hedge and the street. But she wasn't sure about. Olivia nearly jumped out of her skin when her cell phone went off.

"Yeah?" she mumbled sleepy.

"L-Liv? I-It's Kathleen. I-I found m-my f-fathers h-hotel room… H-He isn't here b-but… there's l-lots of b-blood in here… P-Please… come a-and h-help me Liv…"

Silence filled Olivia's apartment.

Quiet.

Nothing.

Emptiness.

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**A/N: Please feel free to review xD**


	6. Chapter 6: Fear

**A/N: finally, here's the 6th chapter, written by amber3234.

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**Chapter 6: Fear**

_Previous chapter: _

_Olivia nearly jumped out of her skin when her cell phone went off._

_"Yeah?" she mumbled sleepy._

_"L-Liv? I-It's Kathleen. I-I found m-my f-fathers h-hotel room… H-He isn't here b-but… there's l-lots of b-blood in here… P-Please… come a-and h-help me Liv…"_

_Silence filled Olivia's apartment._

_Quiet._

_Nothing._

_Emptiness._

Olivia rushed to the address that Kathleen had given her. Elliot couldn't be dead. He couldn't be hurt. He has a family to take care of. He has her.

She walked up to the hotel room and saw a swarm of police officers and forensics. Kathleen was sitting across a detective answering his questions.

"Olivia!" Kathleen exclaimed and rushed to hug Olivia.

"It's okay, sweetheart. I promise you he'll be okay," Olivia assured her.

"Liv, he has to be okay. I'm scared."

"I know, but I'm going to find him. I promise I'll find him."

Kathleen nodded and continued to hug Olivia until the detective called her back over to finish asking her questions.

The other detective walked up to Olivia. "Were you the one that called us?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm Detective Benson and he's my partner," Olivia explained.

"His daughter was the one that called you?"

"Yes. She called as soon as she saw blood."

"Ok detective, we found this note on the table. Any idea who this is?" he asked and handed her the note.

_Detective Stabler isn't dead, yet. He embarrassed me and now he's going to see how that feels. If you're reading this Olivia, I'm sorry it had to come to this. He deserves to die and he doesn't deserve to be your partner. I do. You promised me that you would make me your new partner, but you tricked me. I learned to forgive you because Elliot probably has your wrapped around his finger and you will do anything for him. Don't try to find him; it will be a waste of your time._

_Sincerely,_

_Dale Stuckey._

Olivia looked up at the detective with wide eyes. Dale Stuckey was back.

"He used to be one of our lab technicians. He was arrested and now he's back. Please, you have to find him. He tried to kill my partner once, he'll do it again," Olivia explained.

"Don't worry detective, we'll find him."

Olivia called her squad and told them what happened as soon as she drove Kathleen back home. They were all upset and immediately started digging in any way they can to find Elliot.

Olivia questioned the officers at the prison and found out that Stuckey escaped. Of course he escaped. There's no way he would get out early, even on good behavior. He was sick bastard that had it out for Elliot, her partner and best friend.

Olivia came back to the squad and filled everyone in on what she found out at the prison.

"How the hell did he escape? That's one of the top prisons in New York City," Fin exclaimed.

"Well he managed to get out and now he has Elliot. We need to do something fast," Munch chirped in.

"Where the hell could he have taken Elliot? He doesn't know New York that well. He's only been here for a week before he started working with us and then he got thrown in jail," Cragen said.

"Maybe he has a friend that helped him find a place. I questioned the prison guards and they said he didn't make any friends in prison so that's out of the question."

The squad kept digging into anything they could to find Elliot.

Olivia was sitting on the locker room bench, thinking of Elliot. She missed him so much. She wished he had never left her. She needed him. She needed him so bad.

Now he was gone and they had no idea on how to find him. She had no idea how to get her best friend back.

Fin walked in and saw Olivia on the bench. He knew this was very hard on her.

"You doing okay, baby girl?" he asked.

She sighed. "Not really, no. We need to find him Fin."

"We will. He's been in a lot of bad situations and always managed to get himself out alive. This isn't any different."

"Yeah, but I'm usually there helping him save his stubborn ass. Stuckey has it out for Elliot. He's hated him from the start and now he finally has power over him, he's going to use it."

"Liv, you just got to stay positive. We're going to find him alive. I bet you $100," Fin joked.

She laughed. "I hope I'm short $100 after this."

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**A/N: hehe xD pleeeeeaaaase review!**


	7. Chapter 7: Dreams can lead you

** A/N: just after I read amber's chapter, I had to write mine. Maybe it's a bit confusing.

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Chapter 7: Dreams can lead you

Tic. Toc. Tic. Toc.

The clock made her go crazy. She sat at her desk at the precinct and was staring at the screen of her computer. There were some informations about her actual case.

Well, NO information would describe it better. All she knew was that her partner had been kidnapped by Dale Stuckey, the worst man ever. As Fin and Munch entered the squad room, she sighed.

"Hey Liv. You look bad. When did you sleep the last time?" Fin asked.

Olivia just shook her head and leaned back. She didn't want to talk now. She didn't know where Elliot was and made her sad. Why had she left him alone in this hotel room? Why?

Tic. Toc. Tic. Toc.

Liv groaned and threw a pen after the clock. When it hit it, the clock fell down and broke. Broke just like her.

Munch turned at her with a coffee mug in his hands. He raised his eyebrows and grinned. Then he chuckled.

"What did this clock to you? Is it remembering you to some one?"

"Uh… just shut up, John, okay? I'm mad with everyone right now, because we haven't found out something yet. It's already three days, since Stuckey kidnapped Elliot. It's just giving me nuts… not knowing if Elliot is okay or not."

"Well… you could call him."

Olivia shot an I-kill-you-look at Munch and turned away to stand up and go to her locker. When she was there she opened it and took out a picture of her and Elliot, standing in front of the precinct with wide grins. That was just after their fiftieth case together.

She sighed once again and leaned against the locker. Tears ran down her cheeks and she couldn't hold sobbing a little bit.

She missed him. Missed him so much, it was more than words could say. Fin came over silently and laid an arm around her shoulders.

"It will be okay, baby girl. It will be. Don't listen to Munch. He's as concerned as you. Believe me."

Behind them there was a cough.

"He's right." Munch said. "I care about El, too, Liv."

Olivia smiled at the man. She knew he did. She knew it well. Even though she could kill him sometimes, she knew. But Olivia said nothing.

She walked to the rest room and took her shirt and shoes off. She laid in one of the beds and tried to sleep. But she couldn't.

She writhed in the bed, tossing the grey cover away. That couldn't be. Elliot was her best friend and would ever be. Why couldn't they find him?

Why couldn't they find Stuckey or his friend or whoever helped him?

While thinking of that, she finally fell into a restless sleep.

_Liv opened her eyes. It was dark and dusty. She tried to move but she couldn't. It was weird. While she looked around, she s__aw someone come through a gap in a door which was on the other side of the room._

_Finally Liv could move. She headed toward the man, but didn't see his face to say who it was. She decided to follow him, even if he would see her._

_The man looked around like as he heard something so Olivia hid behind a big pack of wood. Now she realized where she was. She was in a warehouse. A big one._

_Now the man turned around and went through another door. Liv followed quietly. As she reached the room, bigger than the other before, she looked around again._

_The room was empty, except one part. There was the man, now fully lightened. And in front of him…_

"_Elliot!" Olivia cried out_

_But they couldn't hear her. The man in front of Elliot was Dale Stuckey and held a knife. The same knife from years ago, when he tried to kill her partner for the first time._

_As Olivia ran to the men, Elliot looked up. His face was bloody, but he didn't show his pain to his enemy. Would never do. But his eyes spoke another language. They were full of pain and sadness._

_And Elliot couldn't move as well. Chains were wrapped around his wrists and hold him down on the ground._

_Liv reached them and now saw Elliot's whole body. He only had his jeans on, but his shirt laid beside him in the dust. And over his chest were cuts. New, and the old scars. But now they were bleeding again._

_Stuckey grinned like a maniac._

"_Hello, Detective Stabler. You recognize me?"_

"_Yeah… You were the one that tried to kill me, weren't you?" Elliot croaked._

"_Good boy. You're right. But Olivia, your lovely partner tricked on me so I couldn't finish my job. Now I'm resuming back to work as you see."_

"_You… bastard… I know she… will find and save me… You aren't going to get away with… it Stuckey… Never…"_

_Stuckey took the knife and grinned. And added a slow cut to the others on Elliot's upper part of the body._

_Elliot let out a painful shriek. He threw his head back and closed his eyes in pain._

"_Olivia!" he cried out. "Liv!"_

_Olivia couldn't hold it anymore and started sobbing. Tears ran down her cheek and landed on the ground. She ran to Elliot, tried to touch his face, tried to allay his pain._

"_Olivia!"_

"Olivia!"

She woke up, with tears in her eyes and a dry mouth. When she looked up, she saw straight into the eyes of Cragen, who was sitting beside her.

"Everything okay? You had a bad dream."

"I-I know… I know, where Elliot is. Well… I think I know where he is."

"Where?"

She sat straight up in the bed.

"In a warehouse. Here in Manhattan. I dreamt it."

Cragen chuckled slightly. He shook his head.

"You don't KNOW it, Olivia. I can't search all the warehouses around Manhattan. It would take too much time."

Olivia looked surprised at her captain. She couldn't believe it. Why didn't he believe her? He HAD to believe her! She was sure that Elliot was in that warehouse.

As she entered the squad room again, everyone looked at her but said nothing. She went to her locker and opened it again.

Something was wrong. There was an envelope inside which didn't belong there. She took it out and closed her locker again. She went to her desk and sat down.

Liv opened the envelope and took out a letter.

**Dear Olivia.**

**I'm sure you're reading this in presence of your co-workers, aren't you? Then go to the rest room and sit down at a bench. I'm watching you. I know that there's a blue coffee mug on the table. And a pen lying besides it.**

Olivia frowned. Then she went to the rest room and sat down just like in the letter. Then she read again.

**I know**** that you are looking for your partner, Elliot Stabler. Is he really just your partner or your lover? Maybe your lover, but I hope not. For his sake. ****So… I think you should come over and accompany us. ****It would be a pleasure for me to meet you again after that long time. **

Then there was a address.

**But don't bring your other friends, Olivia. It wouldn't be good for Elliot.**

**All yours,**

**Dale Stuckey.**

Now Olivia knew what to do. She stood up and walked out of the rest room. She walked to her desk, took her gun and her badge. The letter, too. The careful eyes of Fin and Munch followed her through the room.

When she was on the streets and headed to her car, she whispered:

"I'm coming, El. Hold on. I'm coming to save you."

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**A/N: pleeeeeaaaaaaseeeee review xD and thank you for still reading the story.**


	8. Chapter 8: Love is all you need

**Chapter 8:**** Love is all you need to survive**

While Olivia drove, she thought about how she would get in the warehouse where Stuckey had taken Elliot. Maybe she could get through a back door. Or just come through the front door.

She didn't know actually, where the warehouse was. There were several she had to search. And that made her feel guilty. Guilty for Elliot who had to take the pain one more hours. Oh Lord…

She arrived the first warehouse of ten. Olivia went out the car, took her gun out of the holster and headed toward the front door.

As she looked into it, there was nothing and it wasn't the warehouse she was looking for. It was incredibly freaking Olivia out, not knowing where she could find her partner.

It went on like the first warehouse. Olivia was already watching the clock. How long could Elliot take the pain? How long?

When she arrived the last, she was going to brake down. What if she searched for the wrong? What if he was at the other end of town? What if...

_Calm down, Olivia Benson! _She screamed in her head. _Everything will be okay. You feel him here, don't you? Then he's here. CALM DOWN!_

Olivia whispered that as kind of a mantra. Calm down, every time. Then she reached the back door, deciding to go in from here, she heard a painful shriek. And a gunshot.

She shook her head. That couldn't be. Stuckey couldn't have a gun, right? That couldn't be… She quietly opened the door, carefully not to make any noise. She took out her gun and went in.

As she walked through the big hall full of boxes and containers, she heard the shriek again, now louder. She made her way through, again carefully not to touch anything and not to make a noise.

Holding her gun in front of her, Olivia walked quietly to the shrieks. It was like the first time Stuckey had kidnapped Elliot. But now for sure, more worse.

Now they light went brighter and the hall went neater and then there was nothing, nothing to hide. And Olivia saw Stuckey, a gun in one and a knife, THE knife, in the other hand. She begged that he didn't hear her.

But he walked around Elliot and was away. Olivia's partner looked up, watching her with painful, wearily eyes and moving his lips, like he wanted to say: "No, go back. Don't do that. He will hurt you."

Olivia shook her head and walked silently to Elliot. When she saw the wounds over his whole chest, her stomach did a lazy roll over.

Then she heard a laugh, a harshly laugh behind her and turned.

"Ah, Olivia. I thought you would never come." Stuckey said and grinned like a maniac. "Your son-of-a-bitch partner told me so."

"Don't call him that, Dale." She groaned.

"Oh, you take care of him? Why were you away when I get him here? You could have saved him. Right?"

Olivia frowned. What should she do now? She knew he had more weapons than her and could kill her without thinking. But…

Wait.

He couldn't kill her, could he? He had a crush on her. And usually you didn't kill the man or the woman you loved.

"Hey, Dale. I want you to come over. Let me kiss you." She offered, being aware of letting him near Elliot.

Stuckey frowned, he couldn't believe that it wasn't a trick. Olivia sighed. She had to hope that he believed her trick. Maybe he wasn't as smart as he thought he was.

But thanks god he made his way over to her and laid his lips on hers. Olivia tried not to pull back when the kiss grew deeper. She had the gun in her one hand, but she knew: Stuckey had the knife still in his hand.

And he used it. As they pulled away, he shot forward and tried to cut her, but missed it. She took the gun, but he was away.

Olivia turned confused, then kneeled beside Elliot, laid her hand on his cheek and said:

"Stay awake, Elliot, 'til I come back, okay? Do it for me."

Then she walked slowly, gun in her hand through the warehouse in searching for Dale Stuckey. Once or twice she saw him sneak around but every time she pointed the gun at him he went away.

Olivia felt like she was walking a circle, when she reached Elliot again. There was Stuckey, holding the knife to El's throat and pushing lightly.

"I knew you would try to trick me again, Olivia. So I say… If you pull the trigger, your friend will die in less more than thirty seconds."

Elliot looked afraid at his partner and best friend and shook his head. "Pull… the trigger…" he whispered raspy.

She shook her head, too. She knew, Stuckey would do what he meant. And she couldn't let Elliot die. She didn't even knew if she was surviving if he would get more hurt.

But if she wanted to get out here alive with Elliot on her side, she had to pull the trigger. There was no way out. Hopeful she pointed with the gun at Stuckey.

"What if you're not fast enough?"

"I will be. I have trained in jail, Olivia. Believe me."

"I wouldn't believe even if it would save my life."

"Well… you're prob-"

He couldn't speak, just react. Olivia had , while he had spoke, pulled the trigger. Before he bled out, he sled the knife over Elliot's throat and broke down.

"NO!" Olivia cried out as she saw Elliot drop.

She ran over, freed his wrists from the chains he was hanging on and laid him on the ground. She streaked over his short cut hair and put her hand on his bleeding throat.

"No, don't leave me. No, please… Elliot… you can't… please… stay with me…" she pleaded while tears ran down her face.

Olivia pulled out her walkie-talkie she was carrying with her and cried:

"10-13! 10-13! Officer down in a warehouse in Brooklyn! I need a ambulance here! Please… my partner's bleeding!"

There was a short answer and then it was quiet again. Olivia tried to stop the bleeding with her hands and it worked out a bit. But there was coming more and more blood.

She pleaded: "Elliot… hold on… they're on their way… hold on a few more seconds… for me… please…"

She started sobbing uncontrollable, not trying to hold it back. She sensed a light touch on her cheek and when she opened her eyes again, she saw Elliot weakly streaking her tear flooded cheek.

"Don't… cry… I'm okay…" he croaked with his mouth full of blood. He smiled as his eyes filled with water too.

"I… will s-stay… honey…"

"Oh Elliot…" Olivia cried. Then she heard the sirens of the ambulance and watched her best friends eyes.

"I… love you… Liv…" Elliot whispered silent.

"I love you too, El. Now stay… stay with me… the ambulance is already here… You have to hold on for one second, El… please…"

As the paramedics came over she looked down at Elliot, streaking his hair again. Then she looked him in the eyes. They were far away, looking through the walls, through the ceiling in the sky.

"No…" she whispered. "No… Elliot… please don't leave me…"

Then soft hands hold her shoulders and pulled her up. Fin. Olivia turned and hid her head at his shoulder. She cried. Cried over her partner, over her life… Over everything ever went wrong between Elliot and her.

Now he was gone. Away. She would never see him again. Never ever. It was over. And it was her fault. Alone her's. Why she had pulled the trigger? Why had she done that?

She sobbed. And couldn't stop crying. As they drove to the precinct again, she didn't spoke a word. Even not as Munch hugged her, and Cragen, and Warner…

She walked over to her desk, sat down and buried her head in her hands. Then she looked up and took a letter, Elliot had given her on her first case. She opened it for the first time and began to read:

_**Dear Olivia.**_

_**I want to write something fondly so hard. Something you try to feel. Something… you can hardly touch. How you can feel the touch of a loving person on your skin. Gratitude, even if it's just thought. Even if he's thought while walking by.**_

_**Love can bring the highest which a human can reach – dreams of luck; they can also change and let the human be an animal of jealousy, which has just dreams of hate and reluctance.**_

_**A friend of mine once said: We are nothing; what we're searching is everything.**_

_**I love you, Liv. I will always do.**_

_**Elliot**_

Now Olivia couldn't hold it anymore and ran away. Ran through the streets, through the park, away from all the hurt she had experienced from the lost of her best friend and love, Elliot. When she reached her apartment, soaked of the rain which was falling outside, her cell phone rang. She took it, and answered, without looking on the caller ID.

"Benson?" she whispered, still sobbing a bit.

"_Hey Liv." Someone croaked into the phone. "It's… Elliot."_

Then she broke down on the doorsill.

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**A/N: now it's just one more chapter to write. And tell me if you cried when Elliot almost died... I did while I wrote it... so... please review!**


	9. Chapter 9: The greatest of honors

**A/N: so here's the final chapter of our story. Amber wrote the first part 'til "About six days later..." and I wrote the last. And I just want to say: the idea for the anthem came to me when I listened to it the first time.

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**

**Chapter 9: The greatest of honors**

„El… where are you? Are you okay? "She asked quickly.

"Liv, I'm fine. I just need to see you," he answered, softly.

"Where are you?"

"I'm still in the hospital. Can you please come?"

"Of course, I'll be there soon." She hung up and went to her car and quickly sped to the hospital.

She walked into his hospital and tried to hide the fact that she had been crying.

"El." She ran over to him and hugged him as tight as she could.

"It's okay. I'm okay, Liv," he said as he stroked her back.

They sat there hugging for what seemed like forever.

Olivia was the first one to pull away. "You almost died," she whispered.

"Don't think like that, Liv. I'm still here and I'll be fine. I'm never going to leave you again."

"Promise?"

"I promise. You're going to be stuck with me forever, whether you like it or not."

She laughed. "That's not such a bad thing. I'm just glad you're okay."

"We're both too stubborn to die. We'll live on forever." He smiled.

She smiled back at him and then she felt his hand stroke her cheek.

"Were you crying?" he asked curiously.

She turned away. "You almost died and I care about you."

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing, Liv. I'm glad to know that you care."

"She raised her eyebrows. "How could I not care? You're my best friend, El. You're all that I have."

"I know it's just good to be reminded sometimes." He held her hand and looked her directly in the eyes. "I'm really glad you came. You're the only person that I wanted to see."

"Good because I'm staying until you get released."

"Liv, you don't have to do that. I probably won't get released until tomorrow."

"So what? I want to stay here," she assured him.

He smiled at her. "Thanks, for everything."

"You don't have to thank me. What are friends for, huh?"

"Still though, you've been there for me every time I needed you. I really appreciate it."

"You do the same for me."

_**About six days later…**_

Elliot and Olivia walked through the door, hand in hand. They were joking around and laughing. Every time they met someone they knew, they greeted and waved.

Fin looked up at the happy couple and rolled his eyes. He changed a look with Munch who was sitting across him and said:

"Since they're together, they are acting like five year old kids."

His partner laughed first, but then a paper ball hit him in the face. He looked to Elliot who was grinning goofily.

"I heard that!" he said and walked to his desk. As he sat down, he grunted quietly, causing Olivia to look up.

"Everything's okay, El? You know what the doctor said: 'Keep it slow.' And what are you doing here?" she frowned.

He gave her a sheepish look.

"Keeping it slow in my own way?"

Olivia rolled his eyes and turned to her computer. She smiled silently at Elliot, who was staring at her every single second.

At least she liked it. They had agreed that they would try to be together. After over ten years of partnership. Weird in some way.

And the weirdest thing was that Kathy had accepted it and had agreed, that Elliot could have the children every second week.

Later that day Cragen walked out of his office and headed toward Olivia's desk.

"Olivia? Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure, Cap. What is it?"

"Can we talk in…" he looked around. "…private?"

"Sure." She said and followed her captain. She was curious now. What did he want from her? Maybe she had to transfer to another unit because she was with Elliot now.

But what surprised her the most, is that the Captain was nearly crying.

"What… is it, Don? You're almost crying."

"Er… I got a call today. From the Chief of Department. He told me that you…" he sniffed. "Will get the Combat Cross. You're going to get a medal."

Olivia could just stop and stare for a moment. A Combat Cross? That was the second highest medal in the whole New York City Police Department. She was speechless.

"B-But… why?"

"Because you, Olivia Benson, saved your partner Elliot Stabler from Dale Stuckey."

"Wow…" she whispered and stumbled back to the squad room.

Every body looked at her, wondering why she was acting so weird.

"Hey Liv! Everything's okay with you? You look like you've seen a ghost." Munch tried to make a joke, but failed.

She could just shake her head. It was more than that. More than she'd ever dreamed of.

* * *

"Olivia Benson?" the Chief of Department asked, standing in front of her.

"Yes, sir?"

"Now you will earn the New York City Police Department Combat Cross for successfully and intelligently performing an act of extraordinary heroism, while engaged in personal combat with an armed adversary under circumstances of imminent personal hazard to life. The City earns you a lot. Thank you."

While the Chief put the cross on Olivia's uniform, everyone in the big room applauded, especially the Stabler clan behind her. Yes, Kathy was there, too. They had become friends very soon.

As she stepped backward, Elliot laid an arm around her shoulder and squeezed it. He was in his uniform, too, like all the other officers who were standing around.

They were all there to celebrate the special day: the team, the Police Commissioner, the major, the Chiefs of Department, even Dean Porter.

As soon as she turned around to face them all, a well known melody filled the room. Olivia smiled and looked at the big flag of the U.S.

Elliot and Olivia saluted at the same time, causing them to grin a bit, then sing the U.S. hymn as loud as their lungs allowed.

_**Oh, say, can you see, **_

_**by the dawn's early light**_

_**What so proudly we hailed**_

_**at the twilight's last gleaming?**_

_**Whose broad stripes and bright stars,**_

_**through the perilous fight, **_

_**O'er the ramparts we watched,**_

_**were so gallantly streaming. **_

_**And the rockets` red glare,**_

_**the bombs bursting in air,**_

_**Gave proof through the night**_

_**that our flag was still there. **_

_**Oh, say, does that **__**Star - Spangled Banner yet**_

_**wave **__**o'er the land **_

_**of the free and the home of the brave?**_

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**A/N: Hope you enjoyed our little story and please, please, please review for a little last time! XD I just wanna thank you all guys for reading our story and reviewing all the time. Then I wanna thank you, Amber, for writing a story with me. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! 3**


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